For your amusement from the website Overheard in Court:
Somewhat appropriate for today
Same objection, different name…
Brand new attorney and a judge with a sense of humor.
ATTORNEY: Objection, Judge! He is beating a dead horse!
JUDGE: Is that your legal objection?
ATTORNEY: Yes, Judge
JUDGE: I don’t see that as a legal objection.
ATTORNEY: It is listed somewhere between, “Objection, that’s confusing” and “Objection, its’ just not right to ask that question.”
JUDGE: Well, then in that case, I’ll sustain it, but next time you might want to just say, “Objection, asked and answered.”

and then there’s just plain funny …
Just a man… now
From: court reporter
Q. You said earlier that your dad has changed since the accident?
A. Yes.
Q. Can you tell us exactly how your dad has changed?
A. My dad used to be able to do everything. He was real smart. He could do several things at once. He could multitask. Since the accident, he hasn’t been able to do that.
Q. You mean, he’s more like a man now?
(Side note: The attorney was a man, and laughter followed.)

Seussical Suit
Office building tenant suing landlord for maintenance problems
Q. And what was your complaint?
A. Well, there were ants in the plants.
Q. Ants in the plants?
A. Yes, in all of our indoor plants. They were everywhere.
Q. I see. Anything else? Other complaints, problems?
A. Yes. There were also bugs in the rugs.
Q. So ants in the plants and bugs in the rugs?
A. Exactly.
MR. ATTORNEY: (Pauses)Could…we..go off..the record?

When in Rome…
Q. When did the noteholders first contemplate that they may make a bid, and so pull back from receiving information about the company’s sale of assets?
A. The noteholders?
Q. Yes.
A. Qua noteholders?
Q. Yes.
COURT REPORTER: You said “qua”?
THE WITNESS: Qua. Q-U-A. Sorry, I’m surrounded by lawyers. I can’t help it.